Welcome, Unwelcome & Becoming Wondrous

Welcome to my last blog entry for 2023! 

I originally thought this entry would continue the journey of myself as a creative seeker. The topic of ‘welcome’ versus ‘unwelcome’, however, and how that dichotomy plays out in our daily lives became more pressing in my own life, at least for the moment. 

Life has recently offered up multiple examples of what is considered welcome or unwelcome.These examples include my recent visit to a small municipal vet office, (not my regular vet), which boasts several 3-D ‘welcome’ signs plastered around their exterior door only to confront the client with an additional plexiglass STOP/call this number sign at eye level as you reach for the door knob. While I understand we now live in a different era (a postpandemic one), the entire 15 minute purchase transaction was handled wholly outside on the cold, windy cement leaving me in a state of confusion as to what they actually mean by their ‘welcome’ salutation. It was without a doubt a push/pull experience given that COVID protocols have at this point in time relaxed.

Other recent examples of the welcome/unwelcome dichotomy include the skunk who periodically visits my front step for cat food, (and throws a smelly tantrum when s/he doesn’t find a meal), as well as the badger who has recently decided to make our local municipal cemetery his new home. Sizeable entrance holes mark at least two gravesites necessitating a call to a federal wildlife service for advice. Badger is one of the newest additions to Canada’s species at risk list and as such s/he challenges us to rethink what it means to ‘love nature’. Does it mean we welcome only some animals, some of the time, in some locations for certain times of the year? The badger has acquired an unnecessarily bad reputation for being vicious and prone to attack. (I understand the larger Honey Badgers in other countries are perhaps more deserving of our trepidation in this regard.) We’ve landed Badger onto the list, however, because of our aversion to its badgerliness. Whatever happened to the concept of ‘whole ecosystems’? Thankfully there are knowledgeable people, both locally and elsewhere (farmers, biologists, trackers and researchers), who are willing to cooperate for a sustainable solution to this kind of circumstance.

Reflecting on these and many more examples of welcome/unwelcome involving racial tensions, eldercare, nature phobias, the arts, and those 1 855 bot calls on cell phones, the frame of reference I’m finding more helpful these days is to retain a sense of ‘wonder’; or a form of suspended judgment akin to ‘curiosity’. 

Instead of unconsciously assigning a label of ‘welcome’ or ‘unwelcome’ to experiences that don’t meet my expectation of pleasurable, or easy, or steady, or lucrative, or….I’m trying to become more aware of that unhelpful habit. Most of us possess this tendency to label (think of how we label own health conditions “painful” rather than just “a state of change”. It can cause us great discomfort, even great suffering.This habit, therefore, takes a bit of work to unearth within ourselves and work with positive intention to develop alternate framing and responses; ones that cause us less distress. Instead of ‘welcome/unwelcome’, ‘like/dislike’ dichotomies, I’m personally finding greater balance (and more wonder!) by adopting what I like to call ‘the witness lens’. 

I’m not talking about the ‘leaving your body’ kind of witnessing that some of us may have experienced during our lifetime. Nor am I talking about a method of pure distancing and compartmentalization. The witness lens I am referring to is a means of exercising deep, non-judgmental compassion while simultaneously acknowledging and respecting our own and others’ paths. Each of us sentient beings have our own integrity, our own set of karmic seeds we’ve sown over time. For example, I view my own health trajectory, (including spinal break), within this samskaric framework of imprints. Respecting that fact, while maintaining deep compassion for myself and exercising true discernment, (not always easy in this world of ours), I can put my thoughts out into the world, make my choices and decisions, and act skillfully, effectively, and with endurance. This is not about anthropomorphism or co-dependence. The witness lens, (and true compassion for that matter), is developed with mindful training, over time, with practice, under the guidance of a reliable, ethical, knowledgeably trained teacher, and hopefully with the support of like-minded people. Of course taking action and finding appropriate, positive (re)solutions are still necessary. Using the witness lens to hide behind as a way to avoid tough decisions and action is not the aim.

In consultation with Joseph Naytowhow, my life partner and nehiyaw knowledge keeper, there are distinct differences between nehiyaw (Cree) and moniyaw (white colonial) worldviews on this topic of ‘welcome’ versus ‘unwelcome’. The word ‘tawaw’, means “come in, you’re welcome” or ‘pihtikwe nitotem’ “enter, my friend”. The word ‘unwelcome’ is not, in fact, used within the language. With an emphasis on encouraging a positive frame of reference, (for example, “enter if you are in good health, and not angry”), the labeling dichotomy is thus avoided.

It is said that to have the opportunity to choose, and the capacity to do so, is the purview of humans. As we become increasingly more knowledgeable about the capacities our brains have in an era where the prevalence of dementia is exploding, the field of animal communication gains more credibility, and our awareness of an earthly collective good supersedes personal choice, our opportunities and responsibilities to foster greater harmony as interdependent beings increases. The old labels of welcome/unwelcome serve us less well and a more robust understanding of our true nature (energetic and interconnected) comes into focus. May the mindset of curiosity in the highest order replace these unhelpful habituations, and may wonder abound!